Belonging as the Outsider

[Naavah]

The Sacred Grove that Kahlan had taken Naavah to was like no where she had ever been. The timelessness and the boundlessness were all too grand for her to wrap her mind around. All she recognized was the many shades of perfection and the sweet touch of Muna upon all she saw. It was paradise in all ways but two, she was alone and her time here could not be permanent. There was no winter in this grand forest, only the warmth and green of summer, newness of spring and plenty of fall. The fact that her time here would be limited was one of life that could not be avoided or changed, but that she was alone something that she chose to be proactive about. This was the land of Fae, and she had been told that the fae were not keen towards humans. But then again, she was something more than human, or less, depending on whom you asked.
The fact that Naavah had not seen the fae did not mean that she was not aware of the many strange and fanciful creatures that the garden held. She had admired the birds that resembled phoenixes in everyway but their mortality, the horses with horns that seemed to glow at dusk and the colorful lizards that fluttered from tree to tree when startled. Despite the abundance of these strangities, it was only the rabbits, game fowl and small deer that she ever hunted. Those animals that she did not know were most likely favorites of Muna and best left untouched.

It was an uncountable number of days, perhaps a month, perhaps much more or much less, before Naavah saw her first fae. It was a woman, though her age could not be divined from her flawless features. Like Kahlan her skin was far lighter than Naavah's coffee tones but this woman had black hair that fell straight as a curtain around her oval face. While Naavah had been built thick boned and sturdy the woman seemed unnaturally thin as though her body had been elongated to emphasis her grace. She held such extrodinary beauty that it was several moments before she even saw the flutter of the thin wings that grew from her back. This fae too, seemed to be one of Muna's touched creatures and so instead of making a move she froze where she was. They met eyes for a moment, her own dark large stare held tight by the changing colors of the woman. Neither spoke but Naavah was the first to look away. The lone wolf looking for a pack has two choices. She can either hold the stare, challenge for dominance and fight for her place on top or she can bow her head, offer kind movements and hope to be invited into the folds. Naavah was still too young to win the fight.

The Fae were creatures of habit with little interest in the world beyond their own anymore. There was no reason for them to harbor any interest in the small brown human-child. There was nothing that she could offer them but this did not mean that she was easily dissuaded either. It was on the third time that Naavah spotted the Fae woman on the deer path just as the sun begins to dim that she dared to follow. While she was known to be talky and even impertinent around those with whom she was comfortable, she also had once been taught what it was to be a good girl. She was silent, only seen and rarely heard, always at a moment's beckoning without ever being underfoot. This was the qualities her step-father had once tried to beat into her a life time ago. She hadn't listened then, but now it served her well. It was hard to argue with the presence of a shadow, but with those dark eyes, Naavah was absorbing more than the Academies of Ulster could ever teach her.

A normal child would have watched the winged people jealously and begged to experience flight but Naavah stayed planted firmly on the ground. It was the plants they picked, the way they were prepared, how they spun their wool and made their brews that interested the girl. She was a quick learner, and helpful to the fae, though never fully trusted, and while she never told them her name, she had gained herself a new one. To the fae she became Aoka, The Outsider. It was strange that the name that placed her apart from these people was also the one that pulled her in. No human without relation to the fae had ever been granted a name before.

[Kahlan Lothair]

Winter raged on as time slowly turned in the upper world. Kahlan, usually so jovial and carefree, seems to have let the despondent nature of the season get to her. Since the death of Theoren, Kahlan had all but become part of her true nature. Her skin usually so full of life now looks papery thin and pale. This lends the woman an ethereal grace that to another might look fragile. In this instance it only deepens her natural beauty. Kahlan...

The gift of God.

Clutching her slender shoulders Kahlan allows her thoughts to wander to better times when, almost as if just remembering her existence, Naavah takes the forefront of her memory. The lively child had been rather over joyed to be allowed to stay in the Sacred Garden. Kahlan's eyes seem to spark to life at the sudden realization that the child has been gone nearly a month and a half from the land of the humans. She had been between worlds for quite some time. Kahlan frowns slightly in attempt to gather the fleeting memory of the girl she had taken a liking to almost instantly and finally she comes to the conclusion that she must go to her and back home.

With the spring back in her step Kahlan takes the steps to her room two at a time and bursts through the double doors. Her intent was to change her clothing and gather needed possessions. When she is done she is cloaked in what would appear to be a heavy dark green cloak, but when she moves it flutters as if made of the finest silks. It never relinquishes her body from its folds as she runs down the stairs. Kahlan's hair is tied back and looks to be staying that way. It usually did since Theo...pushing that memory aside Kahlan takes a turn for a door that is always locked down a hallway that is rarely used. Pushing a key into the lock she hurriedly passes through the meager crack that it allows for passage and pushes the door firmly shut. No one would follow her, this passageway was laced with webs of magic to make anyone but the right person forget their purpose and potentially wander aimlessly lost on the long staircase and subsequent floors it leads to. Never would they find their original goal. Kahlan's goal.

Down she went, the green cloak fluttering behind her like a banner, still gripping her identity and holding it hostage. Long dead torches spring to life as she passes, fire licking up the dry wood like an intimate lover only to expire as the next one is lit further down. Never truely knowing how long the entire passage would take, Kahlan continues on a steady course with unerring determination to reach the Sacred Garden.

After what seems like hours or days (no one could be quite sure for there was no sun to mark the passing of time or stars for navigation) Kahlan finally reaches the wide foyer of earth holding the gateway. One of the gateways...a smile caresses the High Queen's features as the room springs to life in greeting. The warm glow is inviting, like an old friend inviting her in for a cup of tea and maybe some lunch. Should anyone actually make it down here without Kahlan's notice the room would not be so hospitable. The light would fade until it seemed as if the very world had been sucked from existance. Not even the most skilled of those with night vision could possibly hope to navigate the quagmire that would be unleashed.

Coming to stand before the gateway, Kahlan smiles idly as she looks the great tree trunk over. "I have come to seek that which has been with you. She is not fae but a friend of fae. Take me to her..." As if in reply a doorway in the great tree trunk swings open silently and light spills through. Through the doorway was the Realm of Fae. The other part of Kahlan's existance. Home away from Home. In the silence thereafter Kahlan notices the urgency with which the gateway wishes to usher her through. Picking up the folds of her cloak, Kahlan steps through the light and into the Heaven between Worlds. Barefeet mingle with the dirt and cool grass of the place as Kahlan wanders with diligence almost forgotten.

Naavah. Yes, that was why she had come to this place. To seek out Naavah and to see if all was well with her. Stopping for a moment, Kahlan closes her eyes and shrugs off the cloak around her shoulders. The fabric falls away from her wistfully, as if sad that it had to give up its treasure. Picking the cloth up, Kahlan drapes it over the limb of a tree and begins to walk away. In this place there is no doubt that Kahlan could be Fae. She looks every inch the part without the wings and yet something is different about her. Something fundamentally more attractive about her and at the same time with the potential to be utterly frightening. At first her kin shy away from her, but as she delves deeper into their sanctuary they start to recognize her. Kahlan's pale skin takes on a delicate sheen as she moves along the path that wasnt a path. Her eyes dance between two shades of blue as she seems to transform. Transform without fully transforming...

Finally her Kindred seem to willingly come to her and when one woman stands in front of her Kahlan slows to a stop. "Arien. It has been a long time." The red haired Fae nods in a fashion that almost seems to be a bow. Even here the people batted the idea of reverence around. "It has been a long time indeed...Kahlan." The use of her above ground name makes the High Queen smile and she nods. "I seek the outside among you. I know you have not been able to keep your curiosity at bay. Can you bring me to her?" With a nod Arien motions with long slender fingers and turns to walk away. Kahlan follows as the rest of the Fae fall in step behind her.

"She is with Tavaris learning how we weave our fabrics. She is a quick learning child, we are proud that you let her stay." Kahlan simply nods and excuses herself from the throng that had started to accumulate around her. In the short and minor transformation that Kahlan had undergone, the weariness of the upper world had been sluffed away. The outfit she is wearing is rather intriguing indeed. The gown looks to be made of the shifting colors of the world around her. As she moves light plays over the curves of her body as if she might be walking under the trees always. It had been a gift from her mother long ago and now the fluttery fabric lays over her form with a gentle grace. She had finally filled it out well and now, standing before Tavaris and the back of Naavah, she looked regal even here. The sleeveless gown letting the unnatural warmth and sunlight glance off of her bare shoulders and cast an otherworldly glow about her.

"Naavah, child. I have come to see how you are under the protective shade of the Sacred Garden." Her voice is silken and warm, and Kahlan appears to be almost matronly as she stands with most of this Fae tribe behind her watching intently.

[Naavah]

Naavah turned from her work and greeted Kahlan with a small smile though she was abit bashful about being spoken of in such a way. The change in the girl was shocking. In a month and a half, she had aged considerably. She would always be a short child, built stocky and tough, but she had obviously had a growth spurt since they had last seen each other. It was as though she had been taken in two hands and pulled a few inches up. Her layer of soft baby fat around her cheeks had disappeared, giving her the beginning of deeply sculptured features. It was still hard to tell if she would ever be a beauty. In so man ways, her features were extreme, deeply set eyes, a widely set nose. If it were not for the slight delicacy of her cheeks and chin she would never have been called anything but handsome.

Perhaps equally impressive what that it appeared that while she had left Kahlan a bright eyed little girl, she was now bordering on womanhood. Had she been with her tribe, her father would be deeply within negotiations for Naavah’s marriage. In another winter she might have be aching with the weight of a child within her. As it was, she had barely ever given boys a second thought as anything but simple minded and not worth her time. It would be many years before such opinions could truly be challenged. Thirteen year old boys would do nothing but prove her right on that account.

She had never bothered to count the days that she had been here. Just as the fae were creatures of habit, she had adapted to their way of living, as though every day was important and there was no fear that tomorrow would be the last. Perhaps what was more amazing than what a month in the Sacred Grove could do to a mortal was what it had not been able to do. She had left the tribe when she was no more than four or five, barely more than a baby in so many ways. Since then there had been a barrage of cultures, of religions, of people so powerful that they had reshaped Naavah’s entire world view, and yet she was still the tribal girl that she had always been. Her hair was clean, dark and wiry, braided in dark glass beads around her face. She had been given a thin fae-style dress made of a deep olive green fabric so thin that it was like silk and shown almost pearlescent. For three days she had tripped over the long skirt before taking a knife to it and shortening it to barely more than a tunic and donned her soft leather breeches once more. As she had all her life, the thick wolf pelt was still draped down her back.

Even the fabric that she embroidered with surprising dexterity showed the culture that had first been imprinted on her psyche. Like the fae she had utilized the flora and fauna into her design but the figures were more stylized and simplified into flowing lines and sharp angles and in the middle was Muna, round and full of life, guarded by a large lone wolf. She pressed the embroidery into her fist and spoke simply “You’ve come to take me back haven’t you.”

It was an acknowledgement. She had been here too long and she knew the time was coming. Despite the respite that she had enjoyed in this paradise, she had begun to yearn for the harsh truth of the real world. She had not told Adahy goodbye before coming here. She had not worshipped the end of winter as she should. No matter where she went, she would always be an outsider, but that does not mean this is where she belonged.

[Kahlan Lothair]

Kahlan could only smile as Naavah looked up to her expectantly and asked the inevitable. Looking up deliberately to all of those who surround them both, Kahlan motions with her hand for everyone to disperse. "I would like to speak with the Child alone." Seeming to know that Kahlan meant business the Fae give them space.

"Walk with me a while, Naavah?" It was more of a comment than a question or command. Before allowing the girl to fully comprehend the question Kahlan turns to walk along what looks to be an actual path this time. The fluttering green dress she wears drifts about on a tell tale breeze that has no corporeal form. But then wind never did have such a form. A smile drifts over Kahlan's features once more only this time its softer, muted. "By all standards in the above world you have only been here a month and a half. By the standards of Fae you have been here roughly two years. Naavah, the world of the Fae works differently than that of the above world. We discussed this and came to terms with it. Now, I will not remove you from this realm until you are sure that you are ready. If there is a doubt in your heart about leaving speak now, for it will always stay with you until you return if not let out. Likewise if you feel ready to leave and choose to stay the same will happen until you leave. It is the way of both worlds and the way of life. We want what we cannot have until it ruins us." Kahlan had no qualms about speaking like this to Naavah. The child was learned in her own right.

As Kahlan moves, the shadows of the trees mix with the light of the dress and the surreal sunlight to make her dress a canvas of beautiful images that seem to flirt with the edge of conciousness before giving in. "It is winter above ground. I will lend you my cloak if you do decide to return and we will ascend a different stair into the castle so you will not freeze. The choice is yours Naavah. You may say goodbye to this tribe that you have lived with and I will see to it that you come back some day. Would you like that?" Finally Kahlan slows to a stop and looks at Naavah again. Her visage is beautiful and unique. Her eyes dance between blue and grey like the mists that shroud most of her Kingdom. Here her hair seems like a tame fire on the hearth that burns with such happy intensity that it is soon the centerpiece of conversation. Bringing her hand to rest atop Naavah's head as if in blessing, Kahlan smiles lightly. "It is your choice Naavah. Choose wisely dear child."

[Naavah]

Naavah walked quietly beside Kahlan. Long ago she had learned the benefit of being quiet when alone in the forest, but only when sojourning hear had she learned the benefit of being quiet among others. It was only when Kahlan spoke of the two years that had passed over her like a thick winter storm did her breath seemed to shudder. Perhaps Adam had missed her. Perhaps he had moved on and never noticed her absence once more. Still, it was time to move on and take her place in the real world once more for her sake, and for her father’s sake. While Muna’s great love seemed to grow from the ground and seep into all the life here, it was not a land of the Spirits. Not once has she felt Luminarrii looking over her shoulder, testing her in her times of hardship. It was he that she had lived to please for so many years. This world was empty without him.

Eventually her words came to her, distant and cool, “I have things here. I should get them.” Somewhere beneath this phrase there was a deep ache at leaving those who had slowly taken her into their fold. For once her silence was not due to and eagerness to absorb all around her, but a desperate need to hold her emotions carefully within. The walls which the Fae lived within still frightened the girl, as closed spaces always had and she had set up a small lean-to in which to sleep, despite the fact that she needed no real shelter in the warm weather of the grove. She knelt down to enter but, if Kahlan wished, there would be room for her to enter as well. With great solemnity she picked several carved figurines off the ground. Each was a spirit animal, perhaps crude in their basic design but carved and sanded until it appeared as though the wood had no other natural shape. Following this came the tools she had made and the thin bow and arrow that she had been given. Of the fine silks though, the cloths that the Fae took so much pride in, she took only one tunic, the color of rich soil. The bright colors had always made her nervous and she felt that they had no point in the forests she would be returning to.

There was so much the girl had acquired in her sojourn and all of it she left behind without a blink of an eye. Some of her embroidery was so strange and fantastic that even the Fae, usually so aloof had stopped to examine the girl’s imaginative work. But these were products of this world, where she was stationary and well fed. They would be nothing but a burden when she became a nomad once more. She could not help but feel Kahlan’s eyes gazing across these little wonders. “You can take anything you like. I do not need them anymore.” With that she exited. There would be no goodbyes. Naavah had never said such things before and she was certain it would tear her in two to do it now. She would let this be like a dream, the type that was woken from after a good rest and who’s memory lingers through the day.

[Kahlan Lothair]

Kahlan let her have her space as she gathered her things. Casting a solemn glance to the hut that was Naavah's home, Kahlan speaks with a few of her Fae breatheren. "Things above ground are calm. I understand you have taken fewer and fewer humans into your realm." At this Kahlan tilts her head down slightly to gaze at a few select individuals in the growing group around her. It was as if Kahlan was an intermediary of sorts. She was the mediator between worlds, between veils.

When Naavah reappears a short time later and offers Kahlan anything she might want, Kahlan politely declines before looking deliberately over at Arien. Keep her things safe for her. One day she may return. A single nod passed between the women as Kahlan moves to walk with Naavah. "Come my dear. It is cold and you will need my cloak." Moments later, as if the forest had opened the path for them, the glade where Kahlan entered is made all too real by the presence of her cloak hanging over a tree limb. Clutching the fabric in her hands, Kahlan pulls it off the limb and hands it to Naavah. "Wrap up. It is chilly in the underbelly of the Castle this time of year." Kahlan didnt want to leave, but she had no choice. Where Naavah had a choice Kahlan had a power that just kept her short of two very pleasing places. Two very different lives.

Motioning with two fingers in a series of symbols, the doorway opens in a large oak that previously had no seams. No different than any other oak. Beyond the gentle glow of the orbs spring to life at Kahlan's sudden reappearance. "Welcome back to the above world Naavah. Winter is still raging and there is snow thick upon the grounds. I would like it if..." Pausing for a moment as if to choose her words correctly, Kahlan glances over to Naavah as she steps back onto the castle premesis. "I would like it if you would stay the Winter Naavah. It is only two months time before Spring is once again reintroduced into the world. Will you grant me my request?" Kahlan, instead of looking at Naavah, looks up toward the staircase she descended hastily. They would ascend soon enough, but she wanted Naavah to get acquainted with her surroundings. Besides cutting the umbilical cord to the Fae Realm often hurt the first time. The harsh stark reality of this world often didnt sit well with the return journey, but it was a passing feeling lasting but a few minutes. A few minutes of anguish sometimes, but mostly tears. Tears shed in sadness at how this world had become so brutal, so harsh, and so dead compared to what it might have been long ago when the Fae tended it.

"Welcome home Naavah."

[Naavah]

The coldness of the air was shocking to Naavah’s system which had perhapd grown soft with the warmth of the grove. Despite the cloak, she hugged herself tightly, clutching the wolf pelt to her as well as Kahlan’s cloak with one arm, the other searching out for the comfort of her totems. She did indeed feel like an infant at birth, thrust from the warmth of the womb into a cold, harsh world. This was the world her mother had wanted for her. This was the world Luminarii had wanted for her. Both had left her here without showing her the way out. She would be strong and swallow the tears of loss until there was a moment to be alone.

It was in this state, tense with the desire to control her emotions, her face slightly contorted with the wretched pain within, that she heard Kahlan’s request. Stay with her in the castle. It was the first moment that Naavah truly noticed that they were indeed inside the grand stone building. Claustrophobia began to bud within her, mixed with the other uncomfortable emotions. So much angst made it hard for her to think. The words came slowly, even as she made her way towards the stairs to release herself from this oversized cage. “I… don’t remember where my things for the winter are. They would have gone bad by now.” She was speaking in terms of the years that she had been gone, not the months that had passed here. “I will need to stay close… but not here. Not in here.” She pushed open the old wooden door, never stopping to admire the grandeur that surrounded her. The coldness and the deep snow caused her to catch her breath and she shivered hard. Still it was air, a substance that she suspected the castle lacked completely.